kelam sungguh page kau ni didi
haih
Sunday, October 11, 2009
japang oh japang
tah la.. this lately everything seems to be out of line
how i wish my days being colored with classy colors since i had finally dig up rare opportunities.
tapi false hope je output semua.
lucky , i had the chance travel ke japang. di mana aku gila nak sejak kecil lagi.
dengan watak s/usaha program yang tak berwibawa aku bawak, dgn hari hari bermuka suka kononya kerja editing surat mcm haram tu, hari persuade mama tolong sponsor kan, persuade rakan2: dilla, nelly dan used to be aimi juga before. tp miam, dia dah tarik diri awal2 nak pegi sarawak lawat bumi kenyalang dan tgk burung pupus tu, tah apa nama tah. hee.. sungguh mencabar.
bila minta mama sponsor, ma setuju nak beri, walaupun berat hati dia. lagi-lagi untuk anak dia si didi sorang ni yang dia kureng skit sebab behavior nya yang suka ikut kepala dia je. orang lain dia tak fikir. walaupun orang itu merangkap mama nya sendiri. pakai cakap je apa yang dia nak cakap. rude sungguh bagi aku. tapi aku sendiri tak sedar yang aku buat benda tu. pengaruh syaiton sungguh kan kan. c:
tapi, memang program ni macam samar samar je realiti nya. skrg baru nak tahu bukan senang nak dapat duit. lucky i am tak payah besusah sangat. tapi nak harap mama sorang memang kasihan. nak compared to others yang sungguh tekad cari sponsor, mintak kertas kerja berulang2 kali. mintak print. mintak suroh buat surat ni la, surat tu. main pas2 email plak kat lecturer berpangkat tinggi. diorg banyak karenah wa cakap sama lu.
memang tak give up apa diorg ni? aku salute betul la orang cani.
sungguh down tadi bila aku tolak duit mama yang dah pun masuk kat bank. titiba kata tak nak pegi japang. sebab bila mama call tu mula la.. dia mintak simpati. "kesian kat mama kan.." ye ye, tahu . . tapi mama sanggup je satisfies all her daughters favored. sungguh baik mama tu sebenarya. sape tak tahu.
tapi siapa suka bila mama start dengan jabbering dia yang tiada tandingan tu. tapi bila mulled over, ada plak mama yang tak jab kat anak dia yang bikin silap.
sungguh aku tak nak jadi mama yang suka babble
eh silap, sungguh taknak aku kawen. takut dapat anak yang lebih rebellious daripada mak dia.
defensive lebih dari mak dia. ego lebih dari mak dia.
tu la, the save step adalah takyah kawen. :D
tapi dah tu sunnah nabi, kalau ada jodoh tak kan nak tolak =)
whatever the story is, bak kata nelly, harapan tinggi kita nak pergi ke japang terkubur sudah. BAKA! tak suka langsung aku. penat aku convince diri. i'm merely sick of everything. mafia, surat, email, false hope, estimation, money, confront people, texting. bosan dah.
jadi aku berundur diri dahulu.
so long japang oh japang
maybe next time
how i wish my days being colored with classy colors since i had finally dig up rare opportunities.
tapi false hope je output semua.
lucky , i had the chance travel ke japang. di mana aku gila nak sejak kecil lagi.
dengan watak s/usaha program yang tak berwibawa aku bawak, dgn hari hari bermuka suka kononya kerja editing surat mcm haram tu, hari persuade mama tolong sponsor kan, persuade rakan2: dilla, nelly dan used to be aimi juga before. tp miam, dia dah tarik diri awal2 nak pegi sarawak lawat bumi kenyalang dan tgk burung pupus tu, tah apa nama tah. hee.. sungguh mencabar.
bila minta mama sponsor, ma setuju nak beri, walaupun berat hati dia. lagi-lagi untuk anak dia si didi sorang ni yang dia kureng skit sebab behavior nya yang suka ikut kepala dia je. orang lain dia tak fikir. walaupun orang itu merangkap mama nya sendiri. pakai cakap je apa yang dia nak cakap. rude sungguh bagi aku. tapi aku sendiri tak sedar yang aku buat benda tu. pengaruh syaiton sungguh kan kan. c:
tapi, memang program ni macam samar samar je realiti nya. skrg baru nak tahu bukan senang nak dapat duit. lucky i am tak payah besusah sangat. tapi nak harap mama sorang memang kasihan. nak compared to others yang sungguh tekad cari sponsor, mintak kertas kerja berulang2 kali. mintak print. mintak suroh buat surat ni la, surat tu. main pas2 email plak kat lecturer berpangkat tinggi. diorg banyak karenah wa cakap sama lu.
memang tak give up apa diorg ni? aku salute betul la orang cani.
sungguh down tadi bila aku tolak duit mama yang dah pun masuk kat bank. titiba kata tak nak pegi japang. sebab bila mama call tu mula la.. dia mintak simpati. "kesian kat mama kan.." ye ye, tahu . . tapi mama sanggup je satisfies all her daughters favored. sungguh baik mama tu sebenarya. sape tak tahu.
tapi siapa suka bila mama start dengan jabbering dia yang tiada tandingan tu. tapi bila mulled over, ada plak mama yang tak jab kat anak dia yang bikin silap.
sungguh aku tak nak jadi mama yang suka babble
eh silap, sungguh taknak aku kawen. takut dapat anak yang lebih rebellious daripada mak dia.
defensive lebih dari mak dia. ego lebih dari mak dia.
tu la, the save step adalah takyah kawen. :D
tapi dah tu sunnah nabi, kalau ada jodoh tak kan nak tolak =)
whatever the story is, bak kata nelly, harapan tinggi kita nak pergi ke japang terkubur sudah. BAKA! tak suka langsung aku. penat aku convince diri. i'm merely sick of everything. mafia, surat, email, false hope, estimation, money, confront people, texting. bosan dah.
jadi aku berundur diri dahulu.
so long japang oh japang
maybe next time
Friday, June 5, 2009
drag
Days fade as time slowly past. I don’t know what happened to my past few days. Thrashed, spent, and burned.
Merry at times.
Get back to school, sat by the drain just like the old days. Seeing each other faces without realizing that we’d change. With some still suffered from period pain and doing great pose in the mosque while someone massaging on her tummy. And I, hiding turquoise colored nails when meeting teachers.
“Kau dah la memang terkenal dgn budak bermasalah. Bukan nak get rid dulu.”,
some said along with smirk. I still remember that Miss Layla, English teacher, admired them and gave some compliment that she still likes my accent. No doubt, she’s the one who applied nail polish all over her nails during school days. Even now.
More merry times.
If I had some money, I travelled from Ampang to KLCC-PAV-BB-PAV-KLCC and back to Ampang with mama right after she finishes her work. Sad, the ONLY places I’ll travelled. I just couldn’t track the path to OU, Mid Valley, Curve, Alamanda, Sunway or any other places. Sorry mate. Meeting friends or bumping with. Enjoy some movies. Buying lots of sushi along with wasabi and soy sauce, or/and went Sun Moulin to have something to eat. Save, yet scrumptious. :D I love life at this time. I don’t need guy to rebel or love with. Some even warn,
“Didi, kau jangan jual mahal sangat wei. Kau tau, ratio laki pompuan 5:1 skarang.”.
–,= Tak kan nak jual nasi lemak singgit do.. Aku tak nak kawen la. END
But most of the time, day had been spent at home. -.- Watching damn bored flat TV with mundane story board. I slept whenever I feel like to, usually in the dawn. Wake up at anytime, ends up at noon, or maybe late noon.
“Cuba la hidup macam manusia biasa” ayat mama.
Ma always freaks out till now, she’s no longer said a word. And I’ve found out great way to escape from mom’s great jab. Sat silent, not looking at her and let her do her job. She’ll end up flat with nothing to continue. Ma, what else satisfies you? I’m not trying to be rebellious or whatever shite. I’d done all the house chores, but not helping you in the kitchen. Why don’t you just let me be? Yaih, spring clean the house is like my daily routine since the goddamn maid false treat us, said that she’ll return to M’sia after meeting the family. Till now, not even her shadow. Sebadoh.
At home, other then sat back like a squid, we’ll (sis) grab one among the various size and designated shopping bag and walk to nearby Petronas complete with shop mart, Max Value, lecka lecka, bankrupted dunkin donut, craven café, cuci, money exchanger, so on so forth. Our top shopping list, kangkung untuk mengkarung di rumah. No, sayur kangkung, for the rioutious rabbit. And,grab all of chukka idako available, sabi, soy sauce. :D That’s life. Or else, buying chendol and rojak sotong by the reservoir. Nyumm. Other routine, myspacing, hop on to else page, browsing new photos and dropping some kudos.
Lame.
And that’s all my helliday goes by. Sekian
Merry at times.
Get back to school, sat by the drain just like the old days. Seeing each other faces without realizing that we’d change. With some still suffered from period pain and doing great pose in the mosque while someone massaging on her tummy. And I, hiding turquoise colored nails when meeting teachers.
“Kau dah la memang terkenal dgn budak bermasalah. Bukan nak get rid dulu.”,
some said along with smirk. I still remember that Miss Layla, English teacher, admired them and gave some compliment that she still likes my accent. No doubt, she’s the one who applied nail polish all over her nails during school days. Even now.
More merry times.
If I had some money, I travelled from Ampang to KLCC-PAV-BB-PAV-KLCC and back to Ampang with mama right after she finishes her work. Sad, the ONLY places I’ll travelled. I just couldn’t track the path to OU, Mid Valley, Curve, Alamanda, Sunway or any other places. Sorry mate. Meeting friends or bumping with. Enjoy some movies. Buying lots of sushi along with wasabi and soy sauce, or/and went Sun Moulin to have something to eat. Save, yet scrumptious. :D I love life at this time. I don’t need guy to rebel or love with. Some even warn,
“Didi, kau jangan jual mahal sangat wei. Kau tau, ratio laki pompuan 5:1 skarang.”.
–,= Tak kan nak jual nasi lemak singgit do.. Aku tak nak kawen la. END
But most of the time, day had been spent at home. -.- Watching damn bored flat TV with mundane story board. I slept whenever I feel like to, usually in the dawn. Wake up at anytime, ends up at noon, or maybe late noon.
“Cuba la hidup macam manusia biasa” ayat mama.
Ma always freaks out till now, she’s no longer said a word. And I’ve found out great way to escape from mom’s great jab. Sat silent, not looking at her and let her do her job. She’ll end up flat with nothing to continue. Ma, what else satisfies you? I’m not trying to be rebellious or whatever shite. I’d done all the house chores, but not helping you in the kitchen. Why don’t you just let me be? Yaih, spring clean the house is like my daily routine since the goddamn maid false treat us, said that she’ll return to M’sia after meeting the family. Till now, not even her shadow. Sebadoh.
At home, other then sat back like a squid, we’ll (sis) grab one among the various size and designated shopping bag and walk to nearby Petronas complete with shop mart, Max Value, lecka lecka, bankrupted dunkin donut, craven café, cuci, money exchanger, so on so forth. Our top shopping list, kangkung untuk mengkarung di rumah. No, sayur kangkung, for the rioutious rabbit. And,grab all of chukka idako available, sabi, soy sauce. :D That’s life. Or else, buying chendol and rojak sotong by the reservoir. Nyumm. Other routine, myspacing, hop on to else page, browsing new photos and dropping some kudos.
Lame.
And that’s all my helliday goes by. Sekian
Tuesday, May 19, 2009
loading
i'm blogging today and am typing with my right hand only. no offence
i'm laying on my bed, while watching my own tummy reflected on the screen
i went to the doc. he cuts the extensive thread. nothing worse, he's nt even trying to pull them completely off.
i suppose to shower, but the internet sets me apart
and now there is a fly pondering around to compromise its spot to lean on
fag off!
i'm laying on my bed, while watching my own tummy reflected on the screen
i went to the doc. he cuts the extensive thread. nothing worse, he's nt even trying to pull them completely off.
i suppose to shower, but the internet sets me apart
and now there is a fly pondering around to compromise its spot to lean on
fag off!
Saturday, May 16, 2009
whacked!
something tragic happened just now. am not going to exagerrate.
in fact, this accident is far way beyond my capability.
it was late afternoon round 4. i deceided to shower.
so i did.
undress.
while i was peeing, my mind soaked with curiosity.
i am going to uncover my bandage(which i mulled over before)
though i shouldn't.
because i should take off the bandage on monday 19th, and seek for the doc on Tuesday 20th,
which is 3 days from now.
but then i am overwhelmed with the bandage and i agreed over myself to take a peek on the stitches(duh, a peek wouldn't be able to harm me right)
furthermore, i don't feel any pain as i raise my left arm which indesirebly rouse my curio to do so.
while i was standing in front of the mirror, just to look at my reflection if there's any circumstances caused, heh
i remove the bandage slowly,
as the stitches revealed, ...
i was dumb-strucked.
hell. it doesn't even look like what i've imagined.
even worse, there's a single string dangling at the end of those stitches
what a nightmare.
it was horrible! it really looks like your mouth been sewed by the thread used by the cobbler
yeah, just like one of the character in the movie Saw if u had ever watched
damn.
why on earth does it has to be remaining string on my stitch!?
was it going to be pulled by the doc in my next visit? shit.
suddenly, my vision turns blurry. everythings blurry.
i shake my head and tap my forehead with my palm to gain my concius back
but it seems that my verdict's making it worse
i lost my vision. it was black.
all i can hear is dashing sounds coming out from nowhere as if i'm in the mid of death
playing warrior game or so whatever.
and
that's through enough.
a few minutes or probably sec. ok, i dont know fr hw long
i found myself laying on the floor.
my shoulders leaning on the wall.
i'm awake with numbness surrounding my whole body
and my head is heavy which face me with lot of difficulties in recouping my visions back.
after a while, my visions had fully recovered.
anyhow, my hands were trembling uncontrollably.
i tried myself to squatt.
then i pull myself over and sat on the bowl with the lid wide open(but the first lid with a round hole is still on)
ah, so what
i just don't have the strength to shut the last lid. let me be.
i sat there splashing my face with some water(from the tap, not from the loo for God sake!)
finally getting better
i looked on the sink
all of the toiletries from the shelf fell down on the sink
i can assure you that i'd hit my head hard on the shelf, and i fell backward
hitting my head again on the wall next.
maybe from the shelf, to sink, then thrown back on the wall.
no, no, that's too much.
ah.. now i know,
the sound.
the sound i heard while i was struggling for my life in some warrior game
it was undeniably the sound as i bang my head on the shelf
and the tolietries tripping on the sink
i threw myself out of from the toilet without even showering
suddenly asked my adik(two of them) for a drinking water while they're watching Spongey
i drank, and slept right away with the towel still on
well, that's the complete story of mine. it wasn't made up
it happened
i don't know why.
probably because of the lack of protein and iron (i don't eat fish)
perhaps due to my lost of blood during operation and my menstrual cyle i'm having nw
or it could be i'm haunted by those terrible stitches?
hah, no offence
yaih
in fact, this accident is far way beyond my capability.
it was late afternoon round 4. i deceided to shower.
so i did.
undress.
while i was peeing, my mind soaked with curiosity.
i am going to uncover my bandage(which i mulled over before)
though i shouldn't.
because i should take off the bandage on monday 19th, and seek for the doc on Tuesday 20th,
which is 3 days from now.
but then i am overwhelmed with the bandage and i agreed over myself to take a peek on the stitches(duh, a peek wouldn't be able to harm me right)
furthermore, i don't feel any pain as i raise my left arm which indesirebly rouse my curio to do so.
while i was standing in front of the mirror, just to look at my reflection if there's any circumstances caused, heh
i remove the bandage slowly,
as the stitches revealed, ...
i was dumb-strucked.
hell. it doesn't even look like what i've imagined.
even worse, there's a single string dangling at the end of those stitches
what a nightmare.
it was horrible! it really looks like your mouth been sewed by the thread used by the cobbler
yeah, just like one of the character in the movie Saw if u had ever watched
damn.
why on earth does it has to be remaining string on my stitch!?
was it going to be pulled by the doc in my next visit? shit.
suddenly, my vision turns blurry. everythings blurry.
i shake my head and tap my forehead with my palm to gain my concius back
but it seems that my verdict's making it worse
i lost my vision. it was black.
all i can hear is dashing sounds coming out from nowhere as if i'm in the mid of death
playing warrior game or so whatever.
and
that's through enough.
a few minutes or probably sec. ok, i dont know fr hw long
i found myself laying on the floor.
my shoulders leaning on the wall.
i'm awake with numbness surrounding my whole body
and my head is heavy which face me with lot of difficulties in recouping my visions back.
after a while, my visions had fully recovered.
anyhow, my hands were trembling uncontrollably.
i tried myself to squatt.
then i pull myself over and sat on the bowl with the lid wide open(but the first lid with a round hole is still on)
ah, so what
i just don't have the strength to shut the last lid. let me be.
i sat there splashing my face with some water(from the tap, not from the loo for God sake!)
finally getting better
i looked on the sink
all of the toiletries from the shelf fell down on the sink
i can assure you that i'd hit my head hard on the shelf, and i fell backward
hitting my head again on the wall next.
maybe from the shelf, to sink, then thrown back on the wall.
no, no, that's too much.
ah.. now i know,
the sound.
the sound i heard while i was struggling for my life in some warrior game
it was undeniably the sound as i bang my head on the shelf
and the tolietries tripping on the sink
i threw myself out of from the toilet without even showering
suddenly asked my adik(two of them) for a drinking water while they're watching Spongey
i drank, and slept right away with the towel still on
well, that's the complete story of mine. it wasn't made up
it happened
i don't know why.
probably because of the lack of protein and iron (i don't eat fish)
perhaps due to my lost of blood during operation and my menstrual cyle i'm having nw
or it could be i'm haunted by those terrible stitches?
hah, no offence
yaih
Saturday, May 9, 2009
mabuk
brandy
sembat pari
i used to brag
'heh, aku tak pernah sakit. duk hospital (blagak kuat)'
sumpah aku kuat, tak tipu
dulu jahit dahi(akibat kupu kuning) tak guna bius pun
i don't need general anaesthetic back then
nw only i regret
being hospitalized sucks
boring.
all u can do, lay back, watching tv
going to the toliet
making fun calling out nurse
changing tv prog thousands of time
having pain from needles tickling your vein
taking drugs, drugs, and more drugs
suprisingly, the foods were delicous!
i had minor operation yesterday
outcome/s: unfunctioning left part of the body(upper bod)
can't wait to tantalize those stitches
jahitan sembat pari
sebadoh
ouh, being sick provides me some cash, hoo-yah!
'heh, aku tak pernah sakit. duk hospital (blagak kuat)'
sumpah aku kuat, tak tipu
dulu jahit dahi(akibat kupu kuning) tak guna bius pun
i don't need general anaesthetic back then
nw only i regret
being hospitalized sucks
boring.
all u can do, lay back, watching tv
going to the toliet
making fun calling out nurse
changing tv prog thousands of time
having pain from needles tickling your vein
taking drugs, drugs, and more drugs
suprisingly, the foods were delicous!
i had minor operation yesterday
outcome/s: unfunctioning left part of the body(upper bod)
can't wait to tantalize those stitches
jahitan sembat pari
sebadoh
ouh, being sick provides me some cash, hoo-yah!
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